Since I was born, there hasn’t been a single day when my Dad hasn’t performed his Salat. When all of us were sitting in Bangkok, waiting for the report of my medical tests, he was quite calm. He had complete faith in the Almighty that He won’t let anything bad happen to his daughter. That faith got broken when got the test reports. On that monsoon day in Thailand my oncologist informed me that I have cancer.
In fear of something like this might happen, my elder sister had taken me to the mall the previous day and bought me whatever I wanted. Since the moment when we got the reports, the six-month long nightmare started. I have been to the surgery table four times after my reports came in. Lying there in that surgery table, the only thing I wanted to do was to run back to my Ammu. My Ammu’s face was the only image planted behind my lids. Usually I would be the one to drape the saree’s on Ammu.
I was thinking about these in that table to try and find the courage- I had to come back. In those days I missed Ammu’s khichuri so much! The tasteless food served to patients made me believe that khichuri is the best food in this universe. You know, since we are three sisters in my family, people always used to say that we needed a brother to take care of us. This incident proved how wrong this popular theory was. My Dad’s savings was almost gone when we bought our flat. The money for my treatment came solely from my Ammu’s provident fund and the scholarships of my two elder sisters. I had to go through chemotherapy for six painful months.
Two weeks into the treatment, my hair started coming off as the side-effect of chemo. I have cried only twice in these six months. First, when I realized I would have to cut down my long hair, and second, when I got to know that I wouldn’t be able to sit for my final exams, so one year of my education life would be ruined. Now that I have fought with cancer, everything around seems different. Everything seems beautiful. Now I pay attention to every little thing, now I try to see the open sky as much as I can. Such is my state that I even love to cry if I feel sad now. It could be impossible for me to cry now. Even being sad in my own existence is a blessing now